Doubting Thomas Kinkade and Diet Ho-Ho’s
I hate baptized consumerism. Actually, that’s not the right term. It should be something like “Making a decision to invite Jesus’ merchandise into my heart.” Or, “They’ll know we are Christians by our stuff, by our stuff,” which is usually a crappy remake of whatever fad is selling in the secular market.
I hate Christian consumerism. As though all you gotta do to be saved is say a prayer, and all you gotta do to be sanctified is stop listening to Lil Wayne and start listening to a guy who sounds almost exactly like Lil Wayne but doesn’t swear and tosses in Christ’s name here and there.
It’s like, “Sure, you can still eat twinkies and not go to the fat farm! We’re just going to take the delicious animal fat cream filling out of them. And make the yellow cake out of soybeans. But it’ll be great! But your whole life will change!”
Evangelicalism, when it behaves like this, should be called “Diet World” or “Diet Cross” or “Diet Christ”. Don’t lie to me. I know the low sugar ho-hos don’t taste as good as the real ones. I also know you don’t get skinny by trying to continue to eat ho hos, just with fewer calories.
I’d better stop now before I get started. The whole point was to show this excellent picture I accidentally found.
- Nicki Minaj: Lil Wayne ‘So Respectful’ in Video Shoot (atlantablackstar.com)
- Thomas Kinkade Factory Continues To Churn Out Paintings A Year After His Death (buzzfeed.com)